Jamie’s worried I will write about his bad habits. What a suggestion. He’s now given me a new level of blackmail that I hadn’t considered. Up until now, blackmail’s been at the average level of Tidy-Your-Room-or-You-Can’t-Have-Your-Friend-Round and Eat-The-Parsnips-or-There’s-No-Pudding. Now I realise that where bribes have failed, blackmail may succeed. So of course I won’t include them - as long as he obliterates them instead.
Actually I’m quite encouraged. After years of telling him Don’t Do That, it suggests he also recognises the Thats as best kept private. If there were a 12 step plan for breaking a habit, I’m sure this must be at least step 3. Not so long ago he was bemused that I regarded his habits as so nefarious. Now he either trusts my judgement or life is teaching him the hard way.
Meanwhile at sixteen, when I thought he’d be most resistant to parental interference, Daniel is keen to change. He has decided time is pressing and is keen to wipe out his more peculiar habits. He has even asked me to tell him when they sneak out. He’s currently working on cutlery. I hasten to add he does know how to use them, but when not in use he rests them on his plate, as if sharing them with the person opposite. Instead of leaning out at the standard 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock positions, he leaves them at 11 o’clock and 1 o’clock, so that they look like a pair of ears.
Unless he is double or triple jointed, I can’t understand why he finds this more comfortable, but maybe there is some evolutional advantage yet to come of age. And at least he no longer flings himself on the floor when asked to eat.
Hope Dan’s commitment to change is helping Jamie realise that habits can be broken, without the intervention of handcuffs. So I’ll keep my promise for the moment, say no more and see if the fear of exposure works.
Best not tell him that thirty years later, I still miss sucking my fingers.
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