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Monday, 7 March 2011

No sex please, we're wiser

My friend’s son got his first girlfriend for his 16th birthday and now he wants to play with her. 

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t actually a present but the two events coincided so it seems a fair description.  One week later, she’s coming round to stay the night, which he just assumed would be in his bed.  Till his Mum said No. 

As you can imagine, teenage tantrums are little different from a two year old’s except they don’t forget their grievance so easily, they’re harder to control and every hour it’s a You-Can’t-Stop-Me and a But-Why-Not? 

My friend (no names to protect the guilty) says what do you do?  Officiously we agreed No:

  • they’ve only just got together
  • she doesn’t know the girl - nor even if she’s legal
  • it’s an unfair pressure on the girl if she doesn’t want to
  • what would her parents say…
  • too young for authorised Under My Roof sex - we had to wait!

So then she says But What Do I Do If I Hear Creeping Footsteps?  What indeed:

a)    Get up and pretend you can’t sleep
b)    Get up and ask if he/she can’t sleep
c)    Get up and pretend you’re going to the loo
d)    Get up and tell him/her to get back to their own bed
e)    Ignore them and let them go on with it, because you’ve done your bit

To add another layer, a few weeks earlier this girl (allegedly) popped into M&S loos whilst shopping with her friends (including boyfriend-to-be), to pee on a pregnancy test.  All clear, but makes you realise that part of teenage sex is still about appearing cool.  And despite all the media coverage and sex education, our kids still know too little about staying safe.

Maybe we’re as guilty as them of finger crossing.  During next condom on banana session, must stress that crossed fingers don’t work as belt or braces.


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