Bleak House 4 (Hair of the dog)

Last one about the front door, I promise, not least because I suspect my father’s mapping out a shallow grave for me.

Several people have queried the authenticity of the tales, but I’m afraid it’s all true.  The latest replacement for the front door, are blankets strung across the doorway, backed up with what looks like a board of MDF.  Oh, and he’s drawn the curtains behind it – so that must help.

In the interests of fairness I haven’t found hedgehogs pressganged to the floor, and I have omitted any ameliorating explanations.  But in true tabloid fashion, why spoil a story with context? 

So to conclude, I returned on Saturday to finish the painting.  I need to backtrack here and say that when the door was brought inside last Monday (for safe keeping?) it was taken to my father’s cell where he and the dog spend most of the waking day, playing on the computer. 

Whilst my father’s not that hairy - despite his recent beard - the dog is as hairy as any large self-respecting dog should be, and he’s shedding his winter coat.  Between the two of them the room was choking with dog hair and dust, and an airborne osmosis drift guaranteed the door’s fate.  By the time I returned to it, there seemed more hairs and dust stuck to the door than paint.

No option but to sand it again (lightly) whilst sucking the air to pretend I was filtering it, rather than exacerbating the problem.  Topcoat was then duly applied and both beasts (father and dog) banished from the room for the rest of the weekend. 

I’m told that the front door will be reattached this week, come hell or high water.  It's not that I’m sceptical but I’ll take a rubber dinghy next time I visit.  Just in case.